The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control

By Katherine Morgan Schafler

By Orion Books (Hachette Australia)

ISBN: 978139870020 8

When I was handed this book by my book reviewer wife, my first thoughts were, "Why do they want to lose control?". Intrigued, I started on a journey that has totally changed my perspective of how people think and behave.

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control is mainly focused on women and women's status in society, but I found that this book also applies to men.

Bear in mind that the author is American, so it is American centric and there are some words and phrases that need to be understood by re-reading the sentence.

The book begins with a question: "What type of perfectionist are you?".

I was unaware that there were different type of perfectionists, but I found out not only different types but also different categories. Actually, I would label the ‘types' as 'categories' and vice versa. But that's just me being a perfectionist... yes! I found out that indeed I am a perfectionist in some respects, as are most people.

Reading through the various types/categories and the anecdotes of many of her clients sprinkled throughout the book (only the names have been changed to protect her clients), I came to the conclusion that almost all the people I have ever known, both at work and socially, were, or are perfectionists to some degree.

I am sure, when you read this book, you will see something of yourself within these pages.

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control offers a different aspect of the mind in each chapter, taking the reader step-by-step along the path of understanding how the brain works and how we need to alter course at various points during your journey through life.

Schafler explains the difference between 'control' and 'power', thus the meaning behind the title and, in some respects, it is extremely revealing. She goes on to explain that perfectionism gets a bad rap in society and some doctors actually offer cures with warnings to slow down and take care not to burn out.

Schafler explains that Perfectionism is NOT a disease, it's who you are - your whole being and how you can take back your self respect. She continues that some people do not know to channel their talent to their benefit

There are two 'types' of perfectionists, adaptive and maladaptive and five categories which can be either of the 'types' or a mixture of both. Find yourself and your behaviour in any of these states of mind.

Discussing, and offering solutions, to perfectionists who beat themselves up when they complete tasks and projects, but still find no satisfaction, even after receiving the accolades that are bestowed on them makes interesting reading.

Schafler discusses self worth and self compassion and shows how these can cause you to lose control - which is a good thing and gain your power - which is a great thing.

The book delves into 'balance' which society feels everyone, but especially women, need, to organise their lives around ... life! Schafler suggests there is no such thing as 'balance', then explains why.

There are so many aspects of life and living within these covers as well as solutions to many of the problems and road blocks we meet along the way.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyone. No matter what life throws at you, there may be something in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control that can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

the author

Katherine Morgan Schafler, LMHC, is a psychothorapist, writer and speaker based in NewYork City. Formerly an on-site therapist at Google, she earned her degree and training at UC Berkeley and Columbia University, with post-graduate certification from the Association of Spirituality and Psychotherapy..

Reviewed by Ken.

This is independent review, I am not paid by the publishers, so.If you Liked this review, Buy me a coffee